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Ireland's political and cultural magazine
54 July-August 2024
Ireland is Full
(of Irish men unfortunately)
Irish people aren’t as good as migrants at working
I
’ve been looking for a handyman to fix
a number of longstanding and messy
problems in my home in Dublin’s inner
city. Plumbing, carpentry, tiling,
shifting stuff around. The better
tradesmen tend to take jobs on sites where
they’re paid rates that reflect the economies
their skills deliver at scale — shuttering,
roofing or tiling a hundred houses the same
way, or whatever.
That leaves only a residue available to do
smaller jobs but my house is old so some
specialism (or at least imagination) is
required. That’s dicult.
But also the fact that they (admirably)
removed the parking outside my house and
that parking elsewhere is expensive has
been enough to steer nine tenths of the
guys (always guys) who’ve made the
mistake of replying to the ads I’ve put on
Gumtree or jobs.ie, elsewhere.
At least I assume they went elsewhere,
the main thing I am sure about is that they
did not continue the conversation after
initial exchanges, and usually that they did
not turn up as agreed. And yes perhaps the
fact that I am dicult, and my home is nuts
had something to do with it.
Anyway, eighteen months ago a nice man
(I’ll keep this anonymous as obviously there
are two sides to the stories) agreed to fix my
leaking shower and a number of other jobs.
There was a long list. The place was
By Michael Smith
Immigrnt worker
OPINION
July-August 2024 55
dilapidation.
I need to keep him as long as I can. When
the word goes out of what he can do, he’ll
leave and set up an empire. Tony O’Reilly is
working on my bathroom.
He is being paid eight times what he
would get in Moldova. He’s working as well
as all of us work when we emigrate. The
benefit is nearly all to the host nation who
get energetic and dynamic workers whose
education has been paid for by a country
that can ill aord it.
In February the OECD said Ireland was the
most productive country in the world. In
May, Neri and SIPTU said Ireland’s domestic
productivity was among the worst in
Europe.
My own domestic experience was a
manifestation of that poor native
productivity, as well as a certain decadent,
post-boom inflatedness among a cohort of
the population. And of the fact
apprenticeships became very unfashionable
here during and after the boom, dropping
to 1000 annually at one point though they
are now insurgent at 7000 last year.
Meanwhile, immigrants: we need them.
They show us up.
For me the extraordinary thing is that
recent immigrants don’t picket and arsonise
places where Irish men accumulate.
dilapidated. But to get started, he
dismantled the shower: took most of the
bottom out of it. He started o ok but within
a few days there were problems with him
getting sick, his car breaking down, the van
not running, trac which was incessant,
over a year, and his daughter being in
hospital. Sadly, there were pictures of
saline drips.
He lost the hardwood we bought to do the
shelves. Some of his henchmen agreed to
do a job I needed doing in France. He texted
that “Everything is done for lads they won’t
let you down”. They missed their flights. We
know they made it to the departure lounge
but something intervened so they weren’t
in a position to hear the last call. In the end
he put up some other shelves — quite well:
aptitude wasn’t his problem. And
disappeared. We never exchanged a cross
word in the hundred texts I sent him and the
twenty failed promises he sent back in
reply. I think he was diverted by a bigger
job, though I’m not certain and there was a
lot going on.
The shower leaked a gallon of water every
time it was used. Every day for 18 months.
Anyway after a year of nothing but
advancing damp, my finances provided a
brief opportunity to start again. I needed
someone to take over from the non-shower,
part-shelf guy so I advertised online in
February 2024. A lovely gentle Dubliner
replied and I revived the list. Soon there
was talk of a doctor. A head was bought for
the shower but it was missing a crucial
washer and that delayed things. The front-
door lock was changed. He pretended to fix
the gas stove. There was a family problem.
An ex-wife problem. Something to do with
a court. Not good. Nothing done at all
really.
He disappeared after nine weeks. He’d
worked three days. I’d made thirty-six
unanswered calls. There was no sign of the
100 Euro I’d given him for materials though
his mate left about 70 Euro worth of screws
and saws. He’s looking for it back.
I decided I’d take more care with the
advertising. I advertised on recruitment
website ‘Indeed’. They set up a number of
remote interviews. A very nice, mature man
replied and seemed to have lots of
experience. There was an impressive CV,
some quality employers, his home address.
Another lad replied. A Moldovan, spoke no
English but very eager. I thought I’d run with
both, to be sure. I gave the mature man, a
bit of an old Dub, 100 Euro and also put him
in touch with my next door neighbour who
gave him 600 Euro for some window
sound-proofing.
He stood up the Moldovan who could only
communicate by Google translate (which I
was to find out does Russian but not
Moldovan) on two occasions, when I was a
way for a few days — leaving him unpaid for
the day. There was a photo of a car crash. I
had another Irish business associate who
used to send me pictures of a car in a
snowdrift when he couldn’t make it. The
same man never paid his sta (or the
revenue) and scarpered for Australia
leaving a trail. He’d been tricked into taking
a lease by other Irish guys who didn’t have
the right to sublease. Before he left for Oz,
he tricked someone else into taking his
non-lease so that guy is stuck with a non-
sublease, for which he paid €60,000.
Anyway the Dub promised to come in a
few days. Tomorrow. On the way. Yet more
calls the next day. Nothing. Never anything.
He’s left 500-euro worth of tools in my
house. So collectively we were down 200
Euro, ten hours of texting, phoning, and
waiting around, and a good bit of stress and
irritation.
After three weeks I was calibrating my
reaction and I thought I’d see who this man
was. I had his career history and address
after all. He’d made a point of telling me and
the neighbour what age he was. We had his
number.
The Indo records a man of his name and
age stuck a knife in the throat of a neighbour
thirty years ago. He served fifteen years.
I’ll keep his tools. Unless he asks for
them back.
The Moldovan’s been working for a month
now. He does three times as much as
anyone could reasonably expect. He works
wood, he tiles, he plumbs, he does heaters,
he welds, he shifts stu furiously, I’m going
to ask him to fix the clock; and he’s a
delight. His starting point is to say yes. He
addresses every project as a logical
conundrum and solves it meticulously, in
Moldovan. Mind you his English is
unrecognisably improved.
My house is coming out of 20 years of
In May, Neri and SIPTU
said Ireland’s domestic
productivity was among
the worst in Europe
Irish s migrnts work hrd too
