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Ireland's political and cultural magazine
September 2016 5
News Miscellany
Villager
NEWS
Standards
Villager is Village’s standards man. He likes to
see a good standard maintained but he espe-
cially dislikes to see one dropped.
So, why does the Irish Times always report
Michael O’Leary when he says "fuck". While it’s
a good deal for him in his effort to cover the
world with yellowpack and greenhouse gases
it is boring and a little tasteless.
Here’s a list of some of his great fuck tri-
umphs in the Irish Times over the years.
"You're not getting a refund so fuck off. We
don't want to hear your sob stories. What part
of 'no refund' don't you understand?".
"Screw the travel agents. Take the fuckers out
and shoot them. What have they done for pas-
sengers over the years?".
And, most recently “the government should
tell the EU to fuck off with their judgment”.
Ourside of the ‘f’ word (tee hee, Phnoarr
Phnoarr), he’s also deadened the discourse
with the following: “I think the prime minister
of Ireland is a gobshite" and “The Irish public
needs to stop voting for lunatics”
If you have any standards, you will not report
Michael O’Leary except in anthropological
terms. And only once.
TOugh pickings
The Daily Telegraph in a feature written by a Tom
Ough picks up a New York magazine article
which suggests that “I hope you’re well” has
had its day as a greeting for emails. Villager will
run dry. Alternatives it suggests include: “I
hope you’re unwell”, “How are you?”, “How you
doin'?”, “A personalised question”, “How do
you do?” and “Nothing”. Villager suggests
something racy involving the word fuck.
Centralise this, centralise that
Five of the ten fundamental political impera-
tives listed in Marx and Engel’s Communist
Manifesto have been achieved: 2. A heavy pro-
gressive or graduated income tax; 5.
Centralisation of credit in the hands of the
state, by means of a national bank with state
capital and an exclusive monopoly; 6. Centrali-
sation of the means of communication and
transportation in the hands of the state; 9.
Gradual abolition of the distinction between
town and country by a more equable distribu-
tion of the population over the country; and 10.
Free education for all children in government
schools.
Ireland is a world leader in 9. Number one
was: “Abolition of private property in land and
application of all rents of land to public pur-
pose”. Not so much in Ireland.
Why didn’t they stop it?
Dempsey's, A Victorian shop on Dorset St in
Dublin’s North Inner City, has been demolished
behind façade. Dublin’s Civic Trust took some
photos:
A Green day for an old pub
Meanwhile the White Horse (also tellingly
known as the “Dark Horse”) pub on George’s
Quay in Dublin has been turned into a Star-
bucks. As The White Horse, it was a popular
haunt from the 1950s to the 1970s for hard
-
chaws from the nearby Irish Press building. In
the 1980s and 1990s, its upstairs ‘Attic’ venue
hosted alternative music scenes including
unknown Californian punk band Green Day who
played to 30 enthusiasts in December 1991. It
is claimed that Captain William Bligh whose
HMS Bounty was set upon by mutineers in 1789
and who designed the North Bull Wall at the
mouth of the River Liffey in Dublin which caused
the formation of the North Bull Island, stayed in
the White Horse.
Villager could easily live in a world without
any Starbucks at all. The process of surrender-
ing his name to cheery baristas to be peeled out
mispronouncingly when the hot drink is ready
has as much appeal as accounting to a phone
company for his full address and date of birth.
The only good thing about Starbuck is that it is
named after a character in Moby Dick, the chief
mate, “a Nantucket Quaker with a realist
mentality”. Though even then the name was
‘Starbuck’, so why ‘Starbucks’?
Dempsey's interior: gone
Communists
6 September 2016
As bad as Usher’s Island
The ‘refurbishment’ of Findlater House on
O’Connell St in Dublin from offices to a 198-
room Holiday Inn Express hotel comprises
demolition of the fifth floor and its replacement
with new fifth- and sixth- floor levels. It is
emerging as the Street’s ugliest building – and
part of the lumpy future of the city if it adopts
Simon Coveney’s agenda of acontextual high-
rise. Sold by the Findlater family in 1968 to the
Lyons Group who had an old grocery store
demolished in 1972 it’s been an eyesore since
1974. But improving it marginally while embrac-
ing a tacky lumpiness is hardly worthwhile
progress.
As bad as councillors
Ireland’s sporting history is tainted by corrup-
tion. There! Why does our discourse not reflect
this? Why does the international discourse not
reflect this?
Vale of ignorance
What’s the story with the article on Shanga-
nagh Vale in the current edition? Didn’t the
editor grow up there?
Surely no relation
Kevin Mallon, director of THG, was arrested on
the Opening Day of the Olympic Games in Rio
de Janeiro. Mallon was arrested at a hotel as he
allegedly sold tickets to around 20 buyers. It
was reported Brazilian Police seized 781 tickets
being sold at “extremely high prices” of up to
€7,200.
Police later found 823 tickets – many of which
had been issued to the Olympic Council of Ire-
land - for the Games in his apartment.
He has been charged with facilitating ticket
touting and criminal association. As part of his
recent release he must appear regularly at the
'Sports Fans and and Large Events' court in Rio.
All good roustabout stuff. But is he related by
blood to former IRA man and alleged horse kid-
napper, Kevin Mallon.
Sean O'Callaghan, an IRA double killer turned
police double agent, used his 1999 book, 'The
Informer', to name seven former Provos he
claimed had planned and carried out the kidnap
of Shergar, winner of the 202nd Epsom Derby
(1981) by ten lengths – the longest winning
margin in the race's history.
The book identified Kevin Mallon as the man
who had devised the plot. Mallon, a convicted
killer originally from Co Tyrone, eventually
became part of IRA folklore after shooting his
way out of Portlaoise and being lifted by heli-
copter out of Mountjoy.
Did he dump O’Dowd?
Martin O’ Muilleoir has bought Irish Central. In
2005 the Stormont Finance Minister’s company
Belfast Media Group launched Daily Ireland but
he then had to sue Justice Minister Michael
McDowell who likened it to Volkiscsher Beo
-
bachter and avoided liability by pleading
sovereign immunity. The Group also owns the
Irish Echo in New York.
The website pitches at the global Irish
diaspora and mixes original content with con-
tent reproduced from the Irish Voice newspaper,
Irish America magazine and Home and Away.
Touching the Facebook of God
As Villager was finishing his copy, a SpaceX
Falcon 9 rocket had just exploded during a test
on a launch pad at Cape Canaveral. The rocket
had been set to launch on a mission to deliver
Facebook’s first satellite to orbit. Does this
mean that people will stop asking Villager to
“develop a sense of community”, now, so he
can go back to reading long-form articles about
Michael Parkinson?
RIailing
The Royal Institute of the Architects of Ireland
(RIAI) 2016 accounts show former longstanding
CEO, John Graby was paid €238,000 on his
‘retirement’ in September 2015 even though at
that time he was a consultant not an employee
and at 70 years old did not benefit from the pro-
visions of the Unfair Dismissals Act.
The terms of the settlement and termination
agreement were approved by Council in June
2015. In addition, Mr Graby’s legal advisors
were paid a sum of €12,300. The RIAI’s costs in
relation to the negotiations and agreement
were €52,793, for professional advice. The
RIAI’s President of the day, Robin Mandal, “led
the negotiations”.
It is clear that RIAI members are going to have
to fund the Graby payments. One former RIAI
President, the recalcitrant Eoin Ó’ Cofaigh, and
his business partner have decided to wind up
their architectural services company before the
end of the year. They have incorporated a new
trading company which will focus on building
sector professional advice, including also build-
ing design.
Michelle Smith: with loads of medals
New and ugly on the national thoroughfare
To Wolfe Tones soundtrack
September 2016 7
Figures taken from the balance sheet for the
four years in question (above).
According to the Council members’ report for
the financial year 2015:- “It is expected that the
RIAI will again operate with a deficit in 2016”.
Unfortunately it appears that the Council’s only
answer is to ask members to bump up their
contributions.
From Bottler to Superman
Newly reinstated deputy leader of Fine Gael
Senator James Reilly and his wife restored a
15,000 square foot Georgian house in Moneyg-
all, Co Offaly. A feature in the Irish Times says
they did it unaided, while he struggled finan-
cially and was running the Health Department.
And all anyone can talk about is Varadkar?
Facial experiments you can
perform at home
The key to Theresa May, Villager reflects, is her
rictus mouth. It frightens people. She then has
to do little else for everyone just to hope she
doesn’t shout at them and forget about what-
ever they wanted or the criticism they had
wanted to make. It’s a trick that can’t last.
Why?
Philip Lane earns €254,048 annually as Central
Bank Governor. Janet Yellen, head of the Federal
Reserve, gets €177,040. Former and current
Financial Regulators, Matthew Elderfield and
Cyril Roux take €310,000.
How can they tell?
More than half the (non-governmental) people
Hillary Clinton met as Secretary of State
donated to the Clinton Foundation, according to
the Associated Press.
Making the egg pudding look
good
Things are heating up in the French Presidential
race. A recent poll by TNS Sofres of candidates
for the rightist Republicans (formerly the UMP)
gives 30% to former President Nicolas Sarkozy,
37% to another former Prime minister Alain
Juppé.
Sarkozy is the worst type of politician: blingy,
tiny, failed and with no real ideology except a
hypocritical racism. Anyway of course he now
wants a ban on headscarves in state universi-
ties – they’re currently banned in state schools,
preventive detention of those deemed “danger-
ous” by intelligence services, even if they don’t
face charges and closure of the Calais ‘Jungle”.
As he put it to a local audience in the Calais
region recently: “Those who are here in Calais
and who want to cross to England should be
processed in England by the English”.
He is facing various charges relating to alle-
gations he snaffled envelopes stuffed with cash
from France’s richest woman, nonagenarian Lili
-
ane Bettencourt, to illegally finance his 2007
election campaign. Sarko also faces prelimi-
nary charges over suspected illegal
overspending on his failed 2012 re-election
campaign.
Juppé on the other hand was convicted for the
felony of abuse of public funds after his party
illegally used personnel provided by the City of
Paris for running its operations. He appealed
his conviction, finishing up with a disqualifica-
tion from holding elected office for one year and
suspended sentence of 14 months.
Problem is the only alternatives are the Front
National’s Marine Le Pen or a man who spends
€10,000 a month of public money on his hair.
RIAI: How the assets are melting away
Marine Le Pen
