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Happy Valley Destroyed (June 2011)

by admin 7 October, 2011

The Mahon Tribunal, perhaps to avoid discrediting chief witness Frank Dunlop, failed comprehensively to investigate the Cherrywood rezoning that led to its establishment. By Michael Smith In 1995 Colm MacEochaidh and I sponsored a £10,000 reward for “information leading to the conviction of persons for rezoning corruption” after I had been involved in a long campaign against the suspicious rezoning of Cherrywood, beside Dublin’s Bray Road some years earlier. Allegations we received through our Newry solicitor, Kevin Neary, brought James Gogarty into the public eye and indirectly led to the establishment of the Flood/Mahon Tribunal, the jailing of Ray Burke and the resignation of Bertie Ahern. With the scandalously-delayed tribunal report again deferred – but this time only until the autumn – this is the evidence I gave to the Tribunal (available on its website). 1960-1983 For me one of the main distinguishing attractions of growing up in built-up Loughlinstown in the 1970s was its access to the idyllic Shanganagh Valley. This was an arcadian landscape, celebrated since the Norman invasion, bordered on one side by the Bray dual-carriageway and an ancient wall and then unbounded all the way to Stepaside and Kilternan, miles to the West. Thousands of acres of greenery. At Cherrywood dramatic hills ran down to the Shanganagh River, there was a stray orchard and a country lane; mysterious minor archaeological artefacts were present in inexplicable abundance; these and a wood of oak and beech gave the place an air of transcendence and permanence. This is how it was obliterated. 1989 On 30 June 1989 the banner headline across the front of The Irish Times Property supplement stated that Monarch Properties, best known for developing the Square in Tallaght, had bought 234 acres which they intended to rezone and develop with 900 houses, opening up the yawning interior of the Valley also to the JCB panoply. Though I had long moved out of the area and was unlikely to return to that part of Dublin, I was concerned; and I wrote letters to Dublin county councillors suggesting they zone the area amenity, perhaps with the aid of some sort of land swap. 1990 By 1990 the Council management wanted to rezone much of what they now called the “Carrickmines” Valley for a population of 30,000 people along what The Irish Times described as a Los Angeles-style grid-system. Residential development of 1,000 acres with two district centres (Cherrywood and Ballyogan), industrial development around a motorway and a brand new sewer were the main components of this proposal from management as recommended at a meeting of Dublin County Council on 18th Oct 1990. A heavyweight representative organisation styling itself the Carrickmines Valley Preservation Association (CVPA) was established to lobby against wholesale rezonings. They said the Carrickmines Valley was the Southside’s Phoenix Park. They took a hard-hitting approach, focusing on councillors and making them account for their actions. They held terrifying monster meetings. Councillors were probably scared to appear pro-rezoning. Between 1990 and 1993 the CVPA distributed several high-quality and effective leaflets to the tens of thousands of people in the area they said they represented. On 6th December 1990 Councillors Ed McDonald, Jim Murphy and Betty Coffey successfully proposed a motion that the Los Angeles-style development be limited to one (the eastern) side of the proposed line of the South Eastern Motorway, that the proposed industrial zoning be reduced and that the residential zoning and open spaces be indicated. 1991 The management produced obfuscating maps providing confusingly for the 6th December motion “except for updating to take account of the developments to date and adjustments of objective drawing number DP90A/129A refers”. In fact this provided for most of the Monarch lands to be zoned at four houses to the acre. A motion proposing this passed 21: 19. It went on public display and the local elections intervened. It would be for the new County Council, following a big public debate, to see if it wished to proceed with this sort of zoning. The CVPA were very influential in getting these resolutions passed. In 1991 so far as I was concerned development had been stopped. Newspapers and the CVPA said there had been no significant zoning change. So, relieved but concerned about the future, I decided I’d put out a leaflet before the 1991 local election in the name of the Campaign for Honesty in Politics drawing attention to the record of councillors in the outgoing council on a sample of specific issues. Its principal point was that there was a device whereby councillors outside an area voted for rezonings while their local colleagues cynically voted against. It noted that this practice was favoured by the big parties. It was hard-hitting and we distributed 7,000 copies of it in the Ballybrack/Loughlinstown/Cabinteely/Foxrock areas (see page 65). Some time in October 1991, I realised with consternation that in fact the Monarch lands had been rezoned. In late 1991 I set up a group which we called the Shanganagh Protection Committee. It was intended to sound like SPUC, a topically passionate protest group of the time. We were a bunch of about ten in our mid-twenties – precarious student-types. We included two members who subsequently became active in national politics in the Green party Éamon Ryan and Déirdre de Burca. Now Monarch, aware of the accumulating opposition, went on the offensive. 1992 The Roadshow Monarch employed soccer anchor and all-round cuddleball, Bill O’Herlihy who had a Fine Gael background and the ear of many councillors. His public relations company published a lot of cynical propaganda and organised a series of roadshows, mostly in schools, on Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday for eleven weeks, in which they touted their scheme for Cherrywood. These were staffed by droves of Monarch personnel who we got to know quite well. They had a large-scale model of the scheme. Members of the Shanganagh Protection Committee would stand outside – often because the school or institution would have been paid to keep us out, counter-propagandising. At these roadshows Monarch

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Hogan blows it in Brussels

by admin 8 June, 2011

Our new Minister for the Environment blew it in Brussels when it transpired that his claim that Ireland was protecting its raised bogs was exposed as dramatically false by an NGO Report with more than 700 photos of savage destruction covered in the current Village magazine. In trying to undo the damage, he and his climate sceptic sidekick Conor Sheehan encouraged unrealistic ‘compromises’ to benefit the turf cutters that they know Europe will not allow. Tony Lowes’ blog asks why.

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Abolish the €100m State funding for private schools. By Mark Lonergan (current edn, Village)

by admin 13 April, 2011

Jerusalem in South County Dublin “the’best’ schools in the country are off limits to the children of immigrants, members of the Travelling community or those with special needs” By Mark Lonergan The growing fiscal crisis demands cuts in State expenditure. One cut would actually enhance the common good. What better place to start than the present state subvention for private schools? The economic meltdown will devastate average household budgets but leave intact the unassailable bastions that are our nation’s elite private schools which, according to figures released recently, still managed to enrol over 26,000 pupils this year despite charging fees in the region of €6,000 a year for day students and up to €20,000 for boarders. These schools share certain characteristics that make them anathema to those who believe that equality ought to be the foundation of our education system. The admissions policies of these schools are blatantly discriminatory as they give preference to the children of former students, siblings of current students, attendees of their fee-paying junior schools and relatives of their teaching staff. Even more intimidating for those outside the existing educational elite is the fact that many of these schools insist on interviewing both the applicant child and their parents as part of their admissions process. The result of all of this is that some of the’best’ schools in the country are off limits to the children of immigrants, members of the Travelling community or those with special needs who would benefit most from having access to them and leads to a total lack of any meaningful diversity in the student body. Our private schools are facilitating educational Apardheid. In a democracy many would say that parents have every right to send their children to a far-from-free school. Harder to understand is the lavish State largesse that these fee-paying schools continue to receive – over €100 million a year, the bulk of which goes toward teachers’ salaries. The most up-to-date Department of Education figures show the 51 fee-paying schools received this support for teacher salaries in 2008/09 with an additional €2.1 million for capital or building works in 17 fee-paying schools last year. For example, St Andrew’s in Booterstown, Dublin received over €5 million in State supports, including over €4.5 million for teacher salaries and €460,000 for building works; Blackrock College received over €4.2 million from the State for teacher salaries and an additional €114,000 for building works. In an age when parents feel obliged to collect vouchers for essential educational equipment for schools, it is impossible to understand why the ordinary decent taxpayer should be forced to watch taxes being used to fund schools that have a deliberate policy of discriminating against their own offspring. Private schools may spend excess funds on floodlights for the hockey pitches while poorer schools are denied special-needs funding or conduct classes from damp prefabs. With teacher salaries paid by the State, many fee-paying schools enjoy much better facilities than their counterparts in the free second-level sector. Language Labs are the norm in South County Dublin, whereas the State school in North Tipperary has to make do with an antiquated tape recorder. Furthermore, the private secondary school model is predominantly a Dublin phenomenon: 37 of the fee-paying schools are in Dublin with over 70% in its South County. Why is taxpayer’s money being diverted to the richest area of Ireland? At a very minimum fee-paying schools should be forced to choose between adopting an open and transparent admissions process or face the removal of all State funding. These schools will survive as they have access to money from both donations and fees – and from both alumni and parents. Sean Dunne famously gifted €1m to Clongowes Wood for an all- weather Rugby pitch. It is hard not to conclude that the decision of the rainbow coalition to abolish third level fees in 1996 represented a lazy apology for a decision. A quick jaunt around any Dublin university would have shown the main beneficiaries of free fees are not children from the poorest families but middle-class families who, relieved of the future burden of third-level fees, responded to this windfall by reallocating their resources towards their kids’ secondary education. And that this led to an unprecedented demand for fee-paying secondary schools with the consequence that some excellent State schools, such as Greendale in North Dublin, found they could not fill places and were forced to close. Having enjoyed such benefits at second-level it is hardly surprising that the majority of the alumni of these feeder schools motor on to third level. They usually fill nine of the top 10 places in the broadsheet staple lists of feeder schools to leading universities. In the face of such base unfairness surely fiscal Armaggedon compels an end to State subsidies for private schools and the diversion of the €100 million savings to schools that are simply more deserving? Perhaps the reason this is never discussed is that our political and media masters have vested interests in upholding this scandalously counter-egalitarian educational tradition.

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Phil Hogan interviewed (2009)

by admin 3 March, 2011

Interview: Phil Hogan wants to be Minister for the Environment but has a cautious agenda Fine Gael’s environment spokesperson would leave well enough alone at local authority level Tony Lowes Phil Hogan entered politics as a Kilkenny County Councillor on the death of his father, when he was 22 years old, rising to be Chairman of the Council and a member of the South Eastern Health Board. After unsuccessfully standing in the 1987 general election, he was appointed to the Seanad from the Industrial and Commercial Panel. He was returned to the Dáil from the Carlow/Kilkenny constituency in 1989, holding a number of front-bench positions, including that of Minister of State at the Department of Finance with special responsibility for the Office of Public Works, a position he resigned after leaking details of the budget to journalists. He has been Chairman of the Fine Gael Party, was ruthlessly supportive of Enda Kenny in resisting Richard Bruton’s Summer 2010 coup and is currently Director of Elections and frontbench spokesman on the Environment. His website claims: ‘Hogan needs no slogan’. Tony Lowes interviewed Hogan, a genial giant of a man, the day after the elections were called in the atrium of the new extension to Leinster House, a modern and airy glass and chrome building, underground. Tony Lowes: If you hadn’t gone into politics what do you think you would have done? Phil Hogan: I had a small business in the earlier part of my life in insurance and auctioneering so I probably would have done that… Tony Lowes: And gone bust with everyone else? Phil Hogan: Probably, but sure I might as well have gone down in style with the remnants of the Celtic Tiger Tony Lowes: Are you happy now? Phil Hogan: Ah, this is an exciting time. Tony Lowes: And you have every confidence in your leader. Phil Hogan: I have every confidence in my leader. He’s a very honest person and there is no doubt that he is interested in the people of the country rather than any vested interest. Tony Lowes: And of all the portfolios which one would you like to hold? Phil Hogan: I’d like to be Minister for Environment, Heritage, and Local Government to deal with the reform of local and national politics that’s so essential for the country to get Ireland working again – and now I’ve worked-in the Fine Gael slogan for the election! Tony Lowes: The climate change Bill is a big one for environmentalists. Is this a priority for you – or is it toxified now? Phil Hogan: No – Fine Gael included it in its manifesto – we’re committed to a Climate Change Bill based on the all-party Bill from the Joint Committee on Climate Change and Energy Security at the earliest possible opportunity. We believe that the climate change targets that have been set out with our partners in Europe are appropriate and we shouldn’t be putting ourselves in the position by which we’re going to cap the opportunities for food production where we have a distinctive competitive advantage. Tony Lowes: What do you think of the IFA’s response to the climate change bill? Phil Hogan: I can understand the IFA’s response because the targets that were being presented and the assumptions which were being made were too vague. Certainly we have to take at face value what Teagasc – an independent part of the Government apparatus – are saying to us: it goes far beyond the competitors – far beyond our needs. We’re not going to step out into an uncompetitive environment. Tony Lowes: Is John Gormley’s emphasis on the regional and national imperatives for local authority Development Plans something you would support? Phil Hogan: Totally opposed to [a policy of] all decision-making in the Custom’s House which is what the new Planning and Development Bill does. We have enough centralised control of the Department of the Environment in the past. It would worry me if the wrong Minister of the Environment was in office with huge powers that could influence the outcome of individual planning applications. We’ve had enough corruption in the planning system. With the centralised powers the Minister has given the Department of the Environment he can do anything he wishes in relation to planning. But I don’t believe that’s healthy for democracy and I don’t believe it’s healthy from a planning point of view. Tony Lowes: Do you support the investigations that Mr Gormley [recently-resigned Green Minister for the Environment] set up for certain Councils including Dublin City – and Carlow. Phil Hogan: Spuriously mostly. Tony Lowes: If you became Minister would you allow this process to go forward? Phil Hogan: Absolutely – I think it’s very important that we have confidence in the system of public administration at official level and political level – we learned enough in the Mahon Tribunal to know that this is important – but we’re not going to get into the political business of trying to find scapegoats for political purposes which is what ex-Minister Gormley is intending to do. I’m aware of issues that have come before Carlow County Council but on the material that has come out of the investigations to date I don’t see anything. Tony Lowes: Do you support the proposals for a new mayor for the whole of Dublin? Phil Hogan: We’re for that – but not until we have proper devolution from the central to the local. We would look at the existing structures in Dublin. There is no way we would agree to putting in a Dublin mayor and a Regional Authority on top of the four existing local authorities. Tony Lowes: Would you fund this through a property tax and water charges? Phil Hogan: Well in the EU/IMF deal there is going to be a property tax – that’s going to come into effect on January 1 2012 – so that’s a resource that’s available to Local Government. We also have been in favour of water

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Village will start a dedicated blog by Tony Lowes tomorrow. Here’s the first article.

by admin 24 February, 2011

Green/FF Legacy on environmental funding Cuts, cuts, cuts…and apathy By Tony Lowes Of all the species, man is the most destructive to the environment. Almost everything we do damages air, water, or soil. And other species are disappearing at an astonishing rate as mankind proliferates. Our water quality continues to fall, costing the exchequer more and more to meet higher and higher European standards under the Water Framework Directive, whose deadlines are typically 2015. Assessments carried out by expert ecologists for the European Commission in 2008 found that only 7% of the Irish habitats examined are in good status, with 46% inadequate and 47% bad. Many habitats associated with water were considered to be in bad condition, the Report noting “Even moderate declines in water quality makes rivers and lakes unsuitable for many fish and invertebrate species”. And unsuitable for human consumption without expensive Water Treatments Plants. Facing this seemingly inexorable tide stand an Irish Constitution which never uses the word environment and an electorate of which a recent poll showed that only 4% consider the environment the most important issue. Even the Irish Times has now abandoned ‘Horizons’, its Saturday Heritage Review. The Irish Times used to have an environmental correspondent as well as an environment editor but now retains only the latter. Since the end of 2010, RTE has no longer employed an environment correspondent. Is it any wonder then that under the National Recovery Programme, the Department of Environment, Heritage and Local Government’s budget will see a fall from €1601 million in 2011 to €1070 million in 2014 – a reduction of a third? In 2011 alone, the Heritage Unit, which has responsibility for protected structures (including world heritage sites like the Skelligs) will be hit by a 77% budget cut. 56% was sliced from the National Parks and Wildlife budget. Their responsibility includes the 14% of the land mass designated for protection under EU law – as well as running all our National Parks. Although some of these cuts were due to a transfer of salary payments to central funds, the recruitment embargo on civil service replacements over the past few years has hit this Service particularly hard on the ground, where Rangers – whose specialised roles can not easily be found through transfers – are missing in many areas of the country. There are increasing gaps in line-management and some rangers are now confined to desk duties instead of patrolling their beats. Although the level of staffing is less than that in 2002, the workload continues to increase as further areas are designated and new Protocols to protect the Hen Harrier and the fresh water pearl mussel now legally require consultation and inspection to prevent further decline. The far-seeing ‘Farm Plan’ programme which targeted farmers in designated areas since 2005 and assisted them in adapting their practices to protect these sites is no longer accepting entries. A Circular from the Department of Finance warned that “Opening hours of offices, parks and centres will be reviewed in 2011, in line with business needs”. Observers fear that cuts to the heritage sector combined with cuts in school trips mean that the heritage even as an educational resource is at risk. The Planning and Development Act 2010 imposes more responsibilities on Local Authorities to ensure that wide-ranging ‘appropriate assessments’ are undertaken not only of projects that might damage protected areas and species, but of their own County and Local Development Plans. These assessments require specialised expertise that Local Authorities do not have in-house and can no longer afford from outside consultants. The Heritage Council, whose role is to protect, preserve and enhance Ireland’s national heritage, suffered a 47% cut on top of a 30% cut in 2010. While €3 million has been recently restored after vocal protests, research grants will vanish, archives are at risk, programs to curtain invasive species will end, and 50% of the educational and outreach programme is to go, even threatening their flagship publication. The Institute of Ecology and Environmental Management recently wrote to Minister John Gormley to draw his attention to the OECD note in their 2009 ‘Environmental Performance Review’ that nature protection has “remained the poor relative of Irish environmental policy”, warning that the proposed budget reductions will make this situation worse. And none of this actually makes economic sense. An Irish 2010 study showed that in 2009 over three million overseas visitors engaged in cultural/historical visits – and spent an estimated €1.9 billion while doing so – almost exactly the same net benefit a study last year showed for Wales. John Gormley’s own ‘The Economic and Social Aspects of Biodiversity: Benefits and Costs of Biodiversity in Ireland’, published in 2008, estimated the current marginal value of ecosystem services at over €2.6 billion per annum – not including benefits to human health and well-being. In an attempt to shore up their budget, both the Department of the Environment and the Environmental Protection Agency (27% decrease) claim that the “The reduction in exchequer grant for 2011 is expected to be compensated by way of an increased allocation from the Environment Fund”. The Environmental Fund is fed by the plastic bag levy (€22 million) and landfill levies (€32 million). But it is already fully assigned with half of it going to fund waste-management and recycling and the rest meeting a rag bag of demands from EPA research to funding environmental goups (NGOs). Recently, it has been tapped to address cost overruns in Cork’s Haulbowline Island ‘clean-up’ – and the current toxic fire at the Kerdiffstown Landfill in Co Kildare. This year’s increased allocations are actually coming from some €40 million in reserves which has been carried forward for some years, allowing a once-off increase in the 2011 funding of 55%. Unfortunately, although allocations were arranged, John Gormley omitted to sign the necessary Ministerial Order before he resigned, leaving the final distribution in limbo. That may be just as well, as on February 4 the EPA released a report it had commissioned from SKM

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Village Interview: Micheál Martin, Leader, Fianna Fáil (from our election edition)

by admin 19 February, 2011

Micheál Martin is a non-ideological constitutional republican who derides equality of outcome and believes in equality of opportunity How would you describe your political philosophy? I’m a constitutional republican and believe strongly that economic growth and social progress are closely linked. I believe the old left/right ideological divide has no real relevance for the 21st century. Is that different from the traditional politics of Fianna Fail? Are there areas where FF has been weak that you intend to emphasise? I think my political philosophy is very similar to that of the founding traditions of Fianna Fáil, which came from a revolutionary generation which understood the need for a radical change in both its programme and its approach to politics. In the General Election Manifesto I outlined a series of radical new proposals for political reform which will address the shortcomings in the present parliamentary system and are I believe vital for recovery. Fianna Fáil has always represented ordinary people. This is still the case. The organisation is made up of ordinary people who work in their communities and take nothing from politics except a sense of making a contribution. Is that appealing to potential coalition partners? I am not concerned with appealing to potential coalition partners. We have proposed a series of costed proposals that I believe if implemented will return this country to growth. That is my only priority. Do you believe in equality of outcome? If not, what do you understand by equality and do you support it? I don’t believe that there is a single example of a society which combines respect for human rights and high standards of living with enforced equality of outcomes. I believe in equality of opportunity, part of which is the necessity for social supports which enable this. Who are your political heroes? My main hero is Seán Lemass. He was a revolutionary and visionary who responded to the unique problems of the moment rather than being fixed to unchanging ideologies. How do you rate Enda Kenny? It’s not for me to rate Enda. I don’t believe he is the best man to lead Ireland and the level of control which has allowed to those around him is of concern. How do you see the very basic differences between FF and FG? There are plenty of differences between us and Fine Gael. Their campaign is based on the worst type of cynical politics – lots of tough talk but a driving commitment to pandering to every group. Their radical privatisation agenda for the health service and every part of state activity is actively dangerous. Their budget figures don’t add up and their reform platform is all about gimmicks and not at all about real reform. The plan to lay off 18,000 more public servants than any other party is ill-thought-out and will do immense damage to public services. What are the biggest dangers of a FG government? They have no credible plan to get Ireland through to recovery, they appear to be terrified of letting their leader have proper head-to-head debates with others and they are addicted to empty electoral gimmicks. Do you think on balance Ireland has been well governed since 1997? We have made mistakes and I fully acknowledge this and have apologised for them. However, I firmly believe that while we still face significant challenges Fianna Fáil in government has delivered real progress in many areas. Unemployment is unacceptably high but we must remember that there are still 1.86 million people working. Due to our educated young workforce we are seen one of the best places in the world for foreign and direct investment which employs over 240,000 directly and indirectly in this country. We have put in place a world-class cancer-treatment and screening programme. We now have a major new motorway network. We now have more Gardaí and more prison places. Finally during our time in office we have overseen historic developments including the Good Friday Agreement in 1998 and the Hillsborough Agreement in February 2010 which led to the devolution of policing and justice powers from London to Belfast. What would you do to stop boom/bust cycles? Firstly, we must change politics. We also know now that the oversight mechanism in the banking sector were insufficient. We have reformed the banking and financial regulation and put in place two experts to do this: Professor Patrick Honohan in the central bank; and Financial regulator Mathew Elderfield. We are also committed to setting up a Fiscal Council made up of outside economic experts, independent of government to advise government on the budgetary situation and on the fiscal policies required to achieve fiscal sustainability. As a government it is now apparent that we relied too heavily on temporary revenues raised from stamp duty to finance increases in public spending. What is the difference between your solutions for unemployment and those of the other parties? The best way to get people back to work is to get our house in order – we are doing this by fixing the banks, stabilising the public finances and improving our competitiveness. We believe that Sinn Féin and Labour would jeopardise our public finances and prolong the crisis by extending the time-frame for tackling the deficit to 2016. Our five-year integrated plan for trade, tourism and investment will generate 150,000 jobs, and boost exports by one third. Over the next four years we will invest over €16 billion in our infrastructure. We have set up a €500 million innovation fund which will support enterprise development and job creation by drawing top venture capitalists to Ireland. The main plank of Labour’s jobs policy is to set up yet another Bank, the Strategic Investment Bank. We already have two banks that are almost owned by the state AIB and BOI, setting up another bank would only threaten our existing banks survival. Fine Gael’s plan has been dismissed by Michael Noonan as a PR gimmick. We are already making major inroads in this area. It is not

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Berlusconi: Slug (from our Dec-Jan edn)

by admin 13 February, 2011

Silvio Berlusconi matted down the hair-like thing between his tentacles with his fat slimy fingers, removed himself from an Umbrian nineteen-year old, and slithered down in the lapping waters of the bath just run for him by a harem of Tuscan sexworkers. It was very late. The water gurgled gleefully in the Carrara-marbled lavatorium of the mansion he split three ways with the Ndrangheta mafia and Vladimir Putin. He ran the loofah down his fat oily thorax. It had been a long day, he reflected. He’d surfaced at mid-day after the previous night’s dancing and rooting. A disoriented roostering with one of his private secretaries. He’d have lilies sent. Then lunch running Finninvest on the phone, using his funny high-pitched voice so no one would realise it was him. It was difficult to keep the voice high on his hangover. Those bloody Nazis in the regulator had stopped him administering his multi-billion-Euro business empire when he became PM. Lunch had been paid for by some money-laundering lawyers who he had re-writing the statute of limitations to help him avoid the 6900 criminal cases he faced. After lunch it was a long nap, a chat with his holiness, and some rumpy pumpy with a mayor’s wife. One of his Masonic footmen had given her 2000 Euro on the way out and he’d blown a gasket: he thought it would be free – but it never seemed to be. Then he’d had a chin-lift, some surgery on his antennae (local anaesthetic only today) and a Thai massage. Bought some more TV stations. He’d launched some spurious libel actions and had some work done on his trail in the late afternoon. Then an hour pacifying that (ex-neo)-Fascist bore Gianconi Fini who was threatening to pull out of his coalition government unless he rebuilt Bologna. He hated Fascists, no good in bed. The warm water felt good against his cold mucous skin. Then a tea-time meeting and pick-up with Ghadaffi. Brown paper bags for one of his banks. After that he’d had a go on the colonel’s Ukrainian nurse. 10,000 dinar, not bad. Tanned homosexual cuckold. Ha Ha. Only kidding. In the evening he’d watched his AC Milan at a packed San Siro with some Nigerian royalty, then eventually gone home to drink Asti Spumante out of the slippers of a pornstar he’d met in the second half. Tomorrow he’d nominate her for State interior minister. At midnight he’d dealt with some parliamentary boxes – bloody economy still imploding, population down again. Yawn.Then two hours with a former popstar from Iskia who he’d found on the internet and her pet hamsters. He’d make sure she only got a thousand for that, replacement hamsters included. Sometimes he wondered why he always had to pay. Was it because he was 74-years old, corrupt and all fake? Or was it because he was a slimy gastropod? At least he wasn’t gay, he joked again to himself (his favourite joke). The wife had been calling all day about the maintenance and that incident where he’d forgotten all his children’s names after meeting a cherub from Genoa: how he hated her. From three until now it had been party, party, party until his encrusted loins hurt. The nineteen-year-old was leaving now, with his wallet and watch. As the dawn came on, outside he could hear rioters among the statuary complaining he’d rigged the afternoon’s no-confidence vote. Let them eat Tiramisu. Now where was the judge from the criminal case he was facing in the morning who he’d left in his boudoir and the judge’s naked seventeen year old daughter he’d been lubricating on bed number three? He de-oiled himself on a white cotton towel and left it suppurating on the marble. The night was young. Man-Slug.