Untellable stories from Dublin’s nightlife
By Amaal Zaki
Let’s be honest: no one tells the full truth about nightlife. Not in Dublin, not anywhere. The headlines skim the surface: “safety on nights out,” “binge drinking”, “harassment in clubs”. But the deeper, messier stories? The ones that live in the blurry space between consent and coercion, pleasure and power, being wanted and being used? Those get buried in silence, shame, and disbelief.
But I’ve had it with staying quiet.
girls call it “a bad night” because calling it assault would mean facing how often it happens
Because behind the sparkle of a Friday night and the rhythm of the DJ, there’s another reality: women waking up unsure if what happened was sex or something else entirely. Girls calling it “a bad night” because calling it assault would mean facing how often it happens. Men whispering apologies they don’t mean. And a city that parties hard while brushing everything else under the rug.
I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.
When I first moved to Dublin, going out was the ritual. Every weekend, my friends and I would hit the clubs: shots, drinks from strangers, dancing until our feet hurt. We were out to have fun. But not every night ended with fun. Some nights ended with me waking up next to someone I didn’t know, with no memory of what happened or how I got there.
And it wasn’t just because I drank too much. I’ve had nights where the amount I drank didn’t match the total blackout that followed. No images, no flashbacks — just silence. Once, I even fell asleep in a taxi, which I never do, and woke up completely disoriented. I started to wonder if my drink had been spiked. I still don’t know. But the fear that comes with not knowing, that feeling of not being safe in your own body, never leaves you.
That’s not paranoia. In 2022 alone, Gardaí recorded more than 100 reports of drink spiking across Ireland. Experts say these numbers are wildly under-reported₁. In a survey conducted by SpunOut.ie, 59 % of young Irish women said they had experienced spiking or knew someone who had₂. Another survey by the Union of Students in Ireland found that 29 % of students believed they had been spiked.₃
“I didn’t bother reporting it. Half my friends told me the guards would never test me in time, so what was the point?”. That is what a 19-year-old respondent told a USI survey₃.
That hopelessness isn’t unique to Ireland. A 2024 UK study by Drinkaware and Anglia Ruskin University found that 90 % of people who suspected they were spiked never contacted police — and half of them said they ‘didn’t see the point”4. Karen Tyrell, CEO of Drinkaware, put it bluntly: “Drink spiking is a serious crime that can happen to anyone at any time.”₅
A UK Home Office review of 1,261 police toxicology screens, published in December 2023, underscored the same mismatch: only 5% of suspected spiking samples contained any controlled drug at all, and benzodiazepines such as flunitrazepam (Rohypnol) were “rarely detected”.₁₃
Pop culture often trivialises those fears. British comedian Jimmy Carr once condensed the threat into a single gag—“See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol” —turning a violent crime into a punch line and reminding victims how casually their trauma can be dismissed.₁₄
But it’s not just about spiking. It’s the entire culture. In nightclubs, consent is a joke. A guy groping you as you pass is “normal.” A stranger grinding on you without asking is “expected.” You say no, and suddenly you’re the one ruining the vibe. The minute you walk into a club, your body stops being yours. It becomes part of the scene.
We’re told this is freedom, but it’s not. It’s pressure. It’s performance. It’s sex without connection, touch without care, parties without protection. Hook-up culture is sold as empowerment, but for many of us, it feels like survival.
And sometimes, survival means pretending you’re okay just to make it out.
One night, I left a club around 1 a.m., tired and wanting to avoid the long, expensive taxi ride back to Blanchardstown. While waiting outside, a guy I barely knew offered to let me stay at his place instead. I said yes. At the time, it felt like a relief, a safe escape from the cold and a long commute. I thought I’d crash on the couch or in a spare bed and head home the next morning.
But when we got to his flat, it quickly turned. He wanted to have sex. I told him no. I was tired; I just wanted to sleep. But no wasn’t an option to him. He became aggressive, his mood darkening fast. He told me I wasn’t leaving unless we had sex. I realised then that the “help” he offered was always, for him, going to come with strings.
I froze.
In that moment between no and yes, I understood exactly how powerless I was. The door was locked. He was stronger. I didn’t want to, but I went along with it because I was scared. The sex was rough, violent even. I wasn’t present. I was just trying to get through it so he’d let me go.
After, I left shaken and silent. What would I even say? That it wasn’t rape in the way people imagine it? That I had said no, but also didn’t fight back? That I was afraid? That I didn’t scream? That I just wanted to get out?
The truth is, I’ve told almost no one about that night until now. Since moving to Cork, I’ve never set foot in a nightclub. Not once. I’ve lived here for over seven years now, and that part of my life is over. The fear, the trauma, the questions that never got answered—they left a mark. It has taken seven years.
And I’m not alone. This happens every weekend in Dublin, and in cities all over Ireland. But there are no real numbers because most stories don’t make it to the Garda. Most victims don’t file reports. They go home. They blame themselves. They try to forget.
How Ireland Compares
A recent Rape Crisis Centre report noted that 40% of all incidents reported were by people who had been socialising
One woman in three across the EU has experienced physical and/or sexual violence since the age of 15₈. The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC) has warned that the increase in toxic masculinity on social media is feeding the growth of violence against women being seen in Sexual Assault Treatment Units. The charity said in its annual report at the end of May that calls to its helpline had jumped 22pc to 22,700 last year.
In England and Wales, police data show that 86 % of sexual-offence victims are female, and for female rape victims the perpetrator is most likely an intimate partner (46 %) or an acquaintance (36 %).₇
• In the United States, the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found that **56 % of female rape victims were assaulted by someone they knew socially and nearly half of all rapes in the previous 12 months were perpetrated by an intimate partner (45.4 %).₆
Different countries, same pattern: the danger is overwhelmingly personal, wrapped in the language of dating, friendship, or a “good night out.”
Every so often a case is so high profile it cracks the silence.
- Current trial of Dublin firefighter Terence O’Brien in Boston for allegedly raping a 29-year-old woman in a hotel bedroom while his Dublin Fire Brigade colleague Liam O’Brien was asleep in a separate bed.
- The Belfast rugby rape trial (2018): Ireland internationals Paddy Jackson and Stuart Olding were acquitted, yet the leaked group-chat messages (“there was a bit of spit roast last night lads”) ignited nationwide protests about consent.₉
- Brock Turner (Stanford, USA, 2016): Caught raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster, sentenced to six months, served three—sparking new laws and a judge’s recall.₁₀
- Bill Cosby: More than 60 women accused the comedian of drug-facilitated sexual assault spanning decades—a masterclass in how power can cloak predation.₁₁
- John Worboys, the “Black Cab Rapist” (UK): A London taxi driver who used champagne spiked with sedatives to assault scores of passengers, convicted after police linked over 100 potential victims. Boris Johnson’s later wife Carrie Symonds believes he spiked her drink.₁₂
Cases like these dominate front pages, but they’re built on thousands of nights like mine—nights that never make the news.
Because the numbers don’t capture everything.
A recent report by the Rape Crisis Network Ireland shows that 40 % of all sexual-violence incidents reported to their centres occurred while socialising — pubs, nightclubs, parties.₄ But that’s just the people who come forward. And as one Drinkaware respondent put it, *“I felt too ashamed and too tired to start a fight I knew I’d lose.”₅
Because this isn’t just a young-people problem, it isn’t just a drink thing. This is culture.
Footnotes
- Irish Examiner (2022) – More than 100 drink spiking incidents reported to Gardaí in one year. https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-41524169.html
- SpunOut.ie (2022) – Youth Survey on Spiking Awareness in Ireland. https://spunout.ie/life/abuse/spiked-drinks/
- Union of Students in Ireland (2022) – Students and Spiking: Survey Report. https://amle.ie/category/welfare/sexual-health/
- Rape Crisis Network Ireland (2023) – Annual Statistics and Trends. https://www.rapecrisisireland.ie/wp-content/uploads/RCNI-Annual-Report-2023.pdf
- Drinkaware & Anglia Ruskin University (2024) – 90 % of drink-spiking incidents go unreported. https://media.drinkaware.co.uk/media/cakdj3ix/drink-spiking-research-report-2024.pdf
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2022) – National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: Report on Sexual Violence 2016/2017. https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/124646
- Office for National Statistics, UK (2023) – Sexual offences victim characteristics, England and Wales. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/datasets/sexualoffencesprevalenceandvictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales
- EU Agency for Fundamental Rights (2014) – Violence Against Women: EU-wide Survey (Main Results). https://fra.europa.eu/en/publication/2014/violence-against-women-eu-wide-survey-main-results-report
- McKay, S. (2018) – How the “rugby rape trial” divided Ireland. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/dec/04/rugby-rape-trial-ireland-belfast-case
- People v. Turner case file (2016) – full docket & sentencing documents (PDF). https://www.paloaltoonline.com/media/reports/1465602925.pdf; overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Turner
- Bill Cosby sexual assault cases – consolidated chronology & court records. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Cosby_sexual_assault_cases
- John Worboys – “Black Cab Rapist” – convictions, appeals and reporting. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Worboys
- Home Office (UK) (2023) – Understanding and Tackling Spiking: A Review of Evidence. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/understanding-and-tackling-spiking/report-understanding-and-tackling-spiking-accessible
- The Telegraph (2014) – Jimmy Carr jokes: 50 of his funniest one-liners. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/comedy/comedy-news/10838708/Jimmy-Carr-jokes-50-of-his-funniest-one-liners.html
A recent report by the Rape Crisis Network Ireland shows that **40 % of all sexual‑violence incidents reported to their centres occurred while socialising — pubs, nightclubs, parties.**⁴ But that’s just the people who come forward. And as one Drinkaware respondent put it, _“I felt too ashamed and too tired to start a fight I knew I’d lose.”_⁵
Because this isn’t just a young‑people problem, it isn’t just a drink thing.. This is culture.
· Irish Examiner (2022) – More than 100 drink spiking incidents reported to Gardaí in one year.
https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/arid-41524169.html irishexaminer.com
· SpunOut.ie (2022) – Youth Survey on Spiking Awareness in Ireland.
https://spunout.ie/life/abuse/spiked-drinks/ (SpunOut’s drink-spiking info hub, where the 2022 youth survey findings are published). spunout.ie
· Union of Students in Ireland (2022) – Students and Spiking: Survey Report.
https://amle.ie/category/welfare/sexual-health/ (USI’s anti-spiking campaign page, hosting the 2022 survey PDF). amle.ie
· Rape Crisis Network Ireland (2023) – Annual Statistics and Trends.
https://www.rapecrisisireland.ie/wp-content/uploads/RCNI-Annual-Report-2023.pdf rapecrisisireland.ie;
· Drinkaware & Anglia Ruskin University (2024) – 90 % of drink-spiking incidents go unreported.
https://media.drinkaware.co.uk/media/cakdj3ix/drink-spiking-research-report-2024.pdf media.drinkaware.co.uk
· Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2022) – National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: Report on Sexual Violence 2016/2017.
https://stacks.cdc.gov/view/cdc/124646 stacks.cdc.gov
· Office for National Statistics, UK (2023) – Sexual offences victim characteristics, England and Wales.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/datasets/sexualoffencesprevalenceandvictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales ons.gov.uk
· EU Agency for Fundamental Rights (2014) – Violence Against Women: EU-wide Survey (Main Results).
https://fra.europa.eu/en/publication/2014/violence-against-women-eu-wide-survey-main-results-report fra.europa.eu
· McKay, S. (2018) – How the “rugby rape trial” divided Ireland. The Guardian.
https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/dec/04/rugby-rape-trial-ireland-belfast-case theguardian.com
· People v Turner case file (2016) – full docket & sentencing documents (PDF).
https://www.paloaltoonline.com/media/reports/1465602925.pdf (primary court file) paloaltoonline.com
– quick overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Turner en.wikipedia.org
· Bill Cosby sexual assault cases – consolidated chronology & court records.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Cosby_sexual_assault_cases en.wikipedia.org
· John Worboys – “Black Cab Rapist” – convictions, appeals and reporting.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Worboys en.wikipedia.org
· Home Office (UK) (2023) – Understanding and Tackling Spiking: A Review of Evidence.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/understanding-and-tackling-spiking/report-understanding-and-tackling-spiking-accessible gov.uk
· The Telegraph (2014) – Jimmy Carr jokes: 50 of his funniest one-liners. (Registration/pay-wall)
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/comedy/comedy-news/10838708/Jimmy-Carr-jokes-50-of-his-funniest-one-liners.html (If that URL is pay-walled, an excerpted free list is mirrored here: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/354799276913885921/) uk.pinterest.com
If you have been affected by this article or any of the issues treated in it consider phoning Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s National 24 Hour Helpline: 1800 77 8888
