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In Gaza, dreams
Resilience among the rubble By Eman Abu Zayed On the night of October 6 2023, I laid out my clothes for university like I always did neatly folded on the chair next to my bed. I packed my bag with books, charged my phone, and set my alarm for 6:30 a.m. Earlier that day, I had been laughing with my friends on campus. We talked about our classes, shared silly jokes, and promised to catch up again the next morning. Nothing felt unusual. It was just another ordinary day. But I didn’t wake up to the sound of my alarm. I woke up to the sound of rockets. By morning, everything had changed and my life would never be the same again By morning, everything had changed and my life would never be the same again. From the very first moment, I felt like the life I knew had ended. Suddenly, there was no water, no electricity, and no signal. It was like we had been thrown back hundreds of years, living in complete darkness. The borders were shut, the phone lines were dead, and we had no way to check on our families or friends. Sometimes we’d hear the bombing loud, close but we couldn’t tell where it had hit. We only knew it was too close. The airstrikes were terrifying in a way we had never experienced before. The ground shook beneath us, and everything felt black and silent. No news, no voices, no safety. I was sitting at my neighbour’s house, with my friend Dima, when the tanks started shelling the upper floors of the building we lived in. The entire tower shook, and I ran toward our apartment, desperately trying to find my family, terrified something might have happened to them. We all gathered in one room my aunt, my cousins, and the rest of us trying to shield ourselves from the explosions, holding our breaths with every blast. But the shelling didn’t stop. The upper floors were hit again, and we had no choice but to flee into the street. What we saw outside felt like the Day of Judgment. People were running in every direction, screaming, crying, chaos everywhere. Smoke filled the air. Tanks were closing in on the neighbourhood, and bullets were flying from every side. It was one of the most terrifying days of my life. We whispered the shahada dozens of times in a single minute. We walked for what felt like over a thousand meters, and the sound of shelling still echoed behind us. My father was pushing my grandmother in her wheelchair, and I was holding my little brother’s hand tightly as we ran through the street, not knowing where we were going or where we could possibly be safe. Eventually, we found a house nearby that belonged to relatives. We took shelter there. More than sixteen of us crowded into a single room. There was no privacy, no comfort but we had no choice. This was now our reality. The shelling grew closer and closer, and the bullets from Israeli quadcopters began hitting the walls of the house we were staying in. That’s when we made the decision to flee again this time to a tent in Rafah, in what they called the “humanitarian zones”. I had only ever seen tents in movies or read about them in camping stories. I never imagined one would become my home even temporarily. But we had no other choice. We gathered whatever belongings we could carry and headed to Rafah. There, we began setting up tents. The sun was blazing, the air unbearably hot, and there was no water. Still, we tried to finish building the tent before nightfall, just so we could have somewhere to sleep. That night, twenty-eight of us slept in a single tent. We were still trying to adapt to life in the tent, telling ourselves it was temporary, holding on to any sense of routine or stability. Then came the devastating news: our home had been bombed. But when I say “our home was bombed”, I don’t just mean the walls came down. Everything was gone. Not only was our house destroyed, but so was my father’s goldsmith workshop it was on the ground floor. That news hit us like a punch to the chest. We broke down in tears, unable to believe it, hoping somehow it was a mistake. How could the house I had lived in for twenty-two years disappear in the blink of an eye? How could my room, the memories, the laughter, the photos on the walls, and my childhood bed be gone? Everything was lost the house, the workshop, and a piece of my heart with them. Then came the news that shattered my heart completely: Rama had been killed. Rama wasn’t just anyone she was my closest friend at university, my favourite person, the one who knew me better than anyone else. We shared everything: lectures, long talks between classes, our fears, and our dreams. Losing her felt like losing a part of myself. At the time, there was no communication. I had no idea what was happening in the north. My friend Rawaan sent me a message telling me that Rama was gone, but I didn’t receive it until two days later because the network was down and sending messages was nearly impossible. I couldn’t believe it. I cried and screamed, unable to grasp the loss. I never got the chance to say goodbye. Rama was one of the few who refused to evacuate. She chose to stay in the north enduring hunger, bombing, and humiliation but she stood her ground. She stood… and then she was killed, along with her sister Ruba, who used to share her room, her nights, and her laughter. Even in death, they weren’t separated they were buried together in the same grave. I never got to see her. I never even got to hear her voice. This war has taken everything from